I DON’T think the screen is supposed to look like that. It certainly didn’t look so pixellated last weekend, but then again last weekend it hadn’t been dropped in a sink full of plates and dirty, soapy water and then spent a week in a bag of oatmeal. In case you need instructions on how to drop your iPod Touch in a full sink, here’s what I found to be the best way:
1. Make sure volume is right up, you’re wearing over-the-ear headphones and a song you really, really like is playing.
2. Go into the kitchen to get a coffee.
3. Put iPod on counter about six to twelve inches from sink.
4. Make sure sink is full. The scummier the water, the better.
5. Pour coffee.
6. Exit kitchen forgetting that the music you’re listening to is coming through headphones that are attached to a small expensive electronic device.
7. Wonder why there’s a sharp tug at your left ear.
8. Follow cable back to sink.
9. Remove iPod, wonder how the hell you’re going to explain this to Ev.
10. Whatever you do, act like nothing happened and keep listening to it. If the iPod stops working a couple of minutes later then you got it right.
11. Once Ev does find out what you’ve done, giggle and laugh and say it’s not a problem. This will in no way make the situation worse when she realises you’ve destroyed a $250 iPod.
After frantically Googling “dropped iPod Touch in water” I discovered that you’re supposed to put it in a bag of rice for a week as that’ll absorb all the moisture. We don’t have any rice so Ev improvised and stuck it in a bag of oatmeal, where it spent a happy week slowly drying out while probably wishing it didn’t have a complete tit for an owner.
This morning I took it out of the bag, wiped the bits of oatmeal off it, plugged it into the charging dock and hey presto! it charged. Once the battery was full I connected it to the PC and it was recognised. I restored it. But now there’s a sodding padlock icon on the top bar where the time should be and although it’s telling me to “slide bar to start” nothing I do will work. The screen won’t respond to anything I do, from swiping to pressing to yelling. Have I just locked the screen, or have I buggered it up completely? More to the point, will my scrotum be removed with a blunt spoon as I sleep if I can’t get it working? HELP ME PLEASE!