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Welcome to Planet Mut. Established in 2004, it’s the perfect outlet for my more sociopathic tendencies. Email me at planetmut@gmail.com.

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Jamie Oliver is a fat-tongued mockney muppet

BUT his Jamie’s Italian restaurant in Bath is, I have to admit, very bloody good. We popped in for lunch soon after arriving in Bath and didn’t even have to wait for a table.

Flynn and Becky have been to Mr Tongue’s 15 restaurant in London and enjoyed a £150 meal. Thankfully the Italian place deals more in lunches and only set the four of us back a total of £108.

The menu is pretty extensive and after much mulling the starters, Flynn and me went for the English wild boar salami and Ev for the mozzarella di bufala. The wild boar salami […]

The Great Chilli Cookoff of 2010

IT’S that time of the year again when people fill crockpots with various concoctions of beans, meat, garlic, cumin and, of course, chilli powder, and head to Shelley’s to let other people taste it and either like/laugh at their efforts. Ev’s valiant effort is in the centre of the photo and in no way involved her dumping a catering-size can of Dennison’s chilli into the crockpot, no siree. Honest.

The rules: Go up to the table, fill some taster pots with samples of each chilli, return to your table, sample chillis, repeat until you’ve tried them all. Then vote for the one you […]

“He didn’t even try it. What a fag.”">He didn’t even try it. What a fag.”

JAMIE sent me a link this morning to an entry on the Huffington Post about the KFC Double Down. “Ooo,” I thought, “this should be interesting”.

I read “The KFC Double Down: One Sandwich To Kill You All” in anticipation of author Mark Morford’s reaction to the food. Would he, like me, acknowledge that for all its unhealthiness it is pretty tasty? Would he be as critical of the crappy bacon? Perhaps he likes the cardboardy stuff. Maybe he also thinks it needs more sauce to help it go down?

So I read all 1,098 words. Something was missing. I read over it again. Everything […]

Whoever did this deserves a kicking... or a medal

I MEAN, someone nicking your half-a-Subway out of the fridge is one thing. The cleaners chucking away leftovers — still in the Tupperware containers — is something else. But for someone to eat around a doughnut hole and leave it in the box like a dissected cat’s arsehole is a level of evil rarely seen outside a Republican national […]

DD-Day

DD” NOT only stands for for Double Down but is also going to be the size of my moobs once I finish this thing. After our editorial meeting, photo editor Roger and me shot over to the local KFC to pick up a couple of the notorious “sandwiches”.

We expected lines out of the door but the place was empty. No posters screaming about the DD’s launch were in evidence and the kid behind the counter seemed almost embarrassed that we asked for one. But then he spoke the magic words: “Do you want the combo?” and there was much […]

I won't be alive on April 13

THIS, my children, is the new KFC DoubleDown. In case you can’t tell from the video, it’s a bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken.

Has that sunk in yet? To the horror of us living in civilization, the Double Down was initially only released in Nebraska and Rhode Island. Why California didn’t get it is a mystery but all that’s been forgiven as this masterpiece of meat is available on April 12.

Now, I’ve just been scolded by my doctor for putting on weight since my last visit. I’ve put on 10 pounds, for those interested. (No, […]

Another day, another diner

WE HEADED south this time, to the almost-a-trailer-park that is Orange County to try the Omelette Parlour in Costa Mesa. Jamie has been singing the praises of this place for ages so when the question of where to go for our weekly brekkies get-together came up she suggested the Omelette Parlour on Saturday so Ev could join us.

The menu is pretty extensive and they don’t just do omelettes. I was in the mood for something bacony and the Two To The Max seemed perfect: two large eggs, two slices of bacon, two slices of French toast and a large side of […]

At the kitchen table

THE highlight of our Saturday wasn’t seeing Alice in Wonderland (for which we shelled out $37 for two tickets, one Coke and one popcorn) but being seated at the kitchen table at Buca di Peppo, an Italian place over the road from the rape centre cinema.

I’ve heard of kitchen tables, and seen one on Ramsay’s Ego Nightmares, but never actually sat at one. So we jumped at the chance. We were opposite the main kitchen where the hot dishes were prepared; to the left was the pizza kitchen (yay!) and to the right the salad prep area (boo!). It was a […]

In honour of St David's Day...

HERE’S a recipe for Welsh cakes. Welsh cakes truly are food of the Gods. Well, at least my nan’s were. Hot straight out of the oven, covered in butter and wolfed down with strong sweet tea. And that’s when I was 10. God knows how many I’d get through today. Millions, I suppose. I haven’t had Welsh cakes in ages. Maybe I’d better show Ev the recipe and drop some subtle hints along the lines of “make these or Emric gets it”.

Anyway, the recipe is here. If you’re outside the UK the video will not play thanks to our dear, dear […]

Another day, another diner

AND so to brekkies again, this time at the Long Beach Café on Ocean in downtown, er, Long Beach. (A quick note: we came here a month or two ago and I totally forgot to do the update. Duh.)

Anyway, this morning we met up with Jamie and Alicia and headed in. As usual it was pretty packed and very noisy, which is generally a very good sign. Within seconds of being seated we had our coffees and were perusing the menu. One things you can’t say about the Long Beach Café is that it’s short on choices. The menu is huge […]