WHEN I heard that Hollywood was rebooting Judge Dredd I think my response was much like anyone else’s: “How badly can they shag it up again?” The 1995 movie starring Sylvester Stallone as the Mega City One lawman was a disaster, a classic case of moviemakers squeezing an iconic comicbook hero into any old plot with no understanding of how it works or what the fans wanted. Oh, and the black hole of comedy that is Rob Scheider. So it was with a sense of dread (pun intended) that I sat down to watch Dredd.
The plot is about as basic […]
OH, THE days of TV movies before the Sci Fi channel SyFy started making masterpieces like this. There are a lot of machinery-taken-over-by-a-sentient-force type films such as The Car (review to come), Christine, Maximum Overdrive, and today’s masterpiece, the 1974 ABC Saturday “Suspense” Movie Killdozer.
Look at that poster. Kids, that’s what cutouts looked like in the days before Photoshop, a time when real men used scissors, glue and a lot of patience to do graphics that any wally with CS5 and the pen tool can do in two minutes these days. Did TV channels do these kinds of […]
By far the best scene in Halloween III.
THERE’S an old saying - if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. In other words if you have a winning formula just stick to it. Unfortunately history is riddled with people who did the opposite and buggered about with perfectly good things only to ruin them - New Coke, the Star Wars prequels, Tesco’s tuna and sweetcorn pizza spring to mind.
The creators of the Halloween movies did much the same thing. After breaking ground by pretty much inventing the slasher movie in 1978, the second film followed the same plot as the first, with […]
Redneck wedding or Red Dawn remake? © MGM
WHAT, they remade Red Dawn, one of the funniest comedies of the 80s? Why? And this time it’s not those Godless Soviet Commies who are the aggressors against the peace-loving yet heavily armed people of Shitkickerville, USA, but the North Koreans? North Korea? North “sandwich? What the fuck is a sandwich?” Korea?
It was going to be the Chinese invading this time around, only someone at MGM realised this might not be a good idea because a) the movie would never get released in China and b) the Chinese are hardly going to go to the expense […]
CHUCK NORRIS sucks. There, I’ve said it now at last. If anyone deserves a whole internet meme about how tough they are it’s British actor Peter Cushing. Why? Well…
He killed Dracula. FIVE TIMES.
He created Frankenstein’s Monster. FOUR TIMES.
He destroyed the Daleks. TWICE.
He took on Big Brother.
He played an entire scene backwards.
He travelled to the earth’s core.
He outsmarted Moriarty and killed the Hound of the Baskervilles:
This quote: “These dear people love me so much and want to see me… A new generation has […]