Hi. Welcome to Planet Mut. Established in 2004, it’s the perfect outlet for my more sociopathic tendencies. Email me at planetmut@gmail.com. If you want to read the five years’ worth of archives on the old HTML site, they’re here. |
I MEAN with a name like Sharktopus how could it be anything but the greatest movie ever made? It’s about a shark-octopus hybrid that can walk on land, fer Chrissake! This should make Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus look like Citizen Kane. Only with a shark-octopus hybrid.
And how can you not want to watch a film with such outstanding scenes as these:
Hello ladies!
“Hi. I’m Eric Roberts. I played a mob boss in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. And now I’m reduced to appearing in movies on Sci-Fi, or […]
SO MR. T has come out against the new A-Team movie, saying it’s too graphic. He doesn’t say it’s crap but I’m sure it will be. Vindicated by Mr T… this makes my […]
KNOW what’s missing here? A sense of fun. The original A-Team TV show may have been — indeed, was — not that good, but at least it had its tongue firmly in its cheek and had some self-awareness.
The A-Team movie, on the other hand, looks like a classically shitty generic Hollywood movie with Hannibal, B.A., Murdock and Face shoehorned in. As countless other movie adaptations of TV shows and cartoons have turned out to be little more than rivers of shit magically turned into celluloid (Lost In Space, anyone?) , I have little […]
OH DEAR God no! There’s a second Sex And The City movie? WTF? Obviously the demand for a film about four aged, sagging, leathery whores buying overpriced shit and pretending they’re 18 must be greater than anyone with an IQ over 20 would think.
I mean, women, come on — are you really as shallow as Hollywood thinks?*
I watched the trailer so you don’t have to. Believe me, the horror is almost Lovecraftian in scope — it’s a never-ending sparkly void with less depth than a puddle of dogpiss, a nothingness populated by cackling orange creatures led by a woman with a horse’s head, […]
HOLY shit! They’ve made a sequel to Predator? And it’s directed by Robert Rodriguez and stars Laurence Fishburn? How could this possibly fail?
<flashback to first time I saw Aliens v […]
NOW I’ve had a week or so to calm down after nearly flipping my lid at the $25 tickets for Alice In Wonderland (not forgetting the $13 for popcorn and Coke), I feel I can suggest a few ways in which it can be improved.
1. Will someone please stop Tim Burton from directing films? The guy’s gone downhill so fast it’s frightening. Much like Steve Martin, the best way to judge exactly how crap he’s become is to watch his movies in reverse order; start with the mediocrity that is AiW and go backwards, right through to the masterpiece that is […]
Then watch this trailer and bask in the knowledge that, no matter how bad things might be for you, at least you had nothing to do with making Valentine’s Day.
I mean, just who is the target demographic for this? Retards? This trailer actually inspired me to come up with the Unmitigated Shit category as calling it crap just doesn’t do it […]
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