UMMM… let’s just say it was a […]

I’VE got a bit of catching up to do, so here’s three morsels of mundanity in one attractive package. Ev — who appears to be rapidly drifting away from reality — thought door 15 concealed Santa’s nutsack. Really. I thought it might be Santa’s face, which I realise when compared to Santa’s nutsack isn’t much of a guess.

But we’re both wrong! Thanks to the shitty moulding the delicate outline of this lamb was hidden, much like the any relationship to chocolate this might have is hidden by the wax and creosote Excellent Baron use to make it. And now to door 16…

“Oooo,” said Ev, obviously determined […]

AGAIN Ev beat me to the door, in this case number 14 (for those of you caring enough to keep count). “Ooohhh… I don’t know what it is,” she said. I was still picking up the camera when she popped the “chocolate” out and exclaimed, “It’s a squirrel!”

Er… yeah, OK, Ev, whatever you say. Although I should point out that no boobs were involved in tonight’s […]

ONCE again Ev brought the Boobs of Seeing into play for the December 12 door. “It’s a rocking horse!” she said. Could she — and her magical mammaries — be right again?

BOW DOWN BEFORE THE BOOBAGE! And now for tonight’s piece of crap blessing. I grabbed the calendar, rubbed it against my Moobs of Mystery, opened the door and declaimed: “It’s a star!”

WORSHIP THE […]

EV LET me do this one by myself. I have to admit that doing the PCoPPP(acta) is becoming like taking a nightly Rorschach test — what weird thing from my psyche is this piece of crappy chocolate going to drag up? I think it’s Santa. Or a butterfly.

Unless I’m very much mistaken it’s the crapping gnome that made its first appearance back in 2006. Oh, and last night’s was a “star” (quote marks very much necessary, I’m afraid). I would have done an update only I […]

I’M not sure what’s wrong with Ev these days. Maybe it’s stress from work, or the fact Christmas is coming up, or maybe it’s too much exposure to Emric’s poo when she’s cleaning the litter box. Whatever it is, she rubbed the PCoPPP (acta) against her boobs before opening the door and exclaiming, “It’s a shooting star!”

All hail the magical […]

WITH Ev once again in slumberland, no doubt dreaming of Eddie Izzard, Gordon Ramsay and a large pot of Nutella, it’s left to me to provide tonight’s entertainment. After dropping the PCoPPP (ataca) on the floor twice I finally managed to prise open door 8 to discover what is obviously one of the command ships from Galaxian.

Oh, it’s a Christmas tree. BORING! But it could be one of the command ships from Galaxian, as this documentary evidence proves:

See? Right, I’m off to […]

ONCE again Ev leapt in before I could get a word out. “It’s a boot!” she cried. “Or a kitty with a really big arse.” I, with memories of 2006, mentioned that it might be a sleigh and bided my time for the crushing humiliation of Ev’s dreams.

For ’tis a sleigh, dear reader(s). With Ev disconsolate it just remained for me to strip off, smear myself in marmalade and perform the ancient Dance of Iwin while she sobbed quietly in the […]

“IT’S A HORSESHOE,” Ev declared after flinging open door six. I didn’t even bother looking, so sure I was of being cast into the Pit of Defeat once again.

AHAHA! It’s an elephant! Stitch that, […]

IS IT a tree? A rocketship? Darth Vader? Ev thinks it’s a tree. I’d like it to be a rocketship. We’re both going to be very disappointed.

It’s… a strawberry? With an […]