Hi.

Wel­come to Planet Mut. Estab­lished in 2004, it’s the per­fect out­let for my more sociopathic tend­en­cies. Email me at planetmut@gmail.com.

If you want to read the five years’ worth of archives on the old HTML site, they’re here.

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Mat­thew Wilkes

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The Out Campaign: Scarlet Letter of Atheism

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Books (881)

An open letter to the BBC, BBC America, IRB, and RBS Six Nations

DEAR Brit­ish Broad­cast­ing Cor­por­a­tion, BBC Amer­ica, Inter­na­tional Rugby Board and RBS Six Nations: FUCK YOU.

My coun­try is play­ing for the Grand Slam today. It’s the biggest game since our World Cup semi-final in Octo­ber last year. And I can’t listen to it. Why? Because your fuck­ing law­yers have decided that it can’t be broad­cast in Amer­ica. Why not? I listened to the 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2010 and 2011 Six Nations matches (I was there for the 2008 Grand Slam match) so why, in 2012, have things been changed?

And could you at least give us some warn­ing? Why tease me by broad­cast­ing […]

March 17th, 2012 | Category: Open Letters, Rants | One comment

Never in my life did I think I’d actually *want* a washing machine

BUT I do, oh how I do. Right now, offered the choice between a Chilli Red Mini Cooper S with all the trim­mings and a Sam­sung 4.3 cubic feet, 12-cycle Ultra Capa­city Steam Washer with match­ing laun­dry ped­es­tal includ­ing a stor­age drawer, I’d take the non-drivable option.

Now I know what you’re think­ing; you’re think­ing, “But Mut, you’re such a cool and sexy guy. Why the sud­den desire for a mundane domestic appli­ance?” Well, firstly I’d tell you that you’re think­ing of the wrong per­son, and secondly I’d tell you that I’m sick to the bleedin’ gills of shar­ing laun­dry facil­it­ies with […]

March 14th, 2011 | Category: General Stuff, Rants | One comment

An open letter to BT Internet

DEAR BT INTERNET:

You suck balls. Big hairy sweaty ones. If there were a pair of greasy unwashed nads in your vicin­ity, you’d be suck­ing on them. Your enthu­si­asm for imbib­ing gon­ads is beaten only by your abject shit­ti­ness.

Now, BT Inter­net, you might be won­der­ing what’s brought on this open let­ter. Well I’ll tell you. I’m try­ing to verify my dad’s email address because for some unknown and doubt­less stu­pid reason he has to do that before he can send/receive emails. Why does he have to do this? Because you, in your ball-paratrophically piss-poor way, have determ­ined that this is the only […]

October 19th, 2010 | Category: Open Letters, Rants | One comment

An open letter to Stieg Larsson (deceased)

Dear Mr Larrson:

I know you carked it back in 2004 and can’t really reply, but I thought I’d drop you a note about your book The Girl Who Played With Fire. I read the first book in your Mil­lenium Tri­logy, The Girl With The Dragon Tat­too, a year ago and found it to be pretty good if rather long. But shit, did any­one edit TGWPWF?

Dying of a heart attack shortly after deliv­er­ing the manu­scripts of all three books to your pub­lisher meant you didn’t get to have any say in how they were edited. And I don’t know if the pub­lish­ers […]

October 14th, 2010 | Category: Books, Open Letters, Rants | 8 comments

“Just say no to negativity”

THIS has become Ev’s new man­tra to me whenever I blow my lid at someone or some­thing that bloody annoys me. Some mup­pet cuts the Mini up? “Just say no to neg­at­iv­ity.” I come home to dis­cover the Kar­dashian slags are not only on the liv­ing room telly but also on the one in the bed­room, which no one is actu­ally watch­ing? “Just say no to neg­at­iv­ity”. Emric’s pissed in the sink? “Just say no to neg­at­iv­ity”.

Now I’m the first to admit that I’m a neg­at­ive per­son, or in proper med­ical terms, a miser­able bas­tard. But I don’t see how I […]

September 29th, 2010 | Category: Rants | 12 comments
 
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