WHEN you’ve just shovelled one of Denny’s Moons Over My Hammys and several cups of coffee down your face, what’s the perfect dessert? How about a vanilla ice-cream and maple syup sundae topped with crumbled bacon?

I’ve demonstrated my love for bacon before, although that little experiment with the pinnacle of porcine of products ended in gallons of mouthwash and a desire never to repeat it. So it was with some trepidation that, when the server asked if we wanted dessert, I thought about getting one only to be beaten by Ev’s cry of, “He’d like one of the bacon ice-creams!”

This cardiac-inducing […]

PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY sandwiches were a staple when I was growing up. I don’t mean I ever ate them, they just seemed to be everywhere — in books, on telly, in comics, in films. Not in British books, telly, comics and films, though; we has proper sarnies like salt ‘n’ vinegar crisps, tomato sauce, cucumber, salad cream, and Marmite. It seemed to me that America must run on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as there were references to them everywhere, and it didn’t help that in Britain, jelly is the stuff that comes in cubes, dissolves in warm water and is used […]

FOCUS!!!

I PICKED these up in Ralph’s a few months back and only remembered about them when trying to make room in the fridge for all the delicious Hecho en México, real-sugar-laden Pepsi I bought in Stater Brothers’ the other day. The Dry Soda Company makes a big deal about their drinks containing only all-natural ingredients and that’s obvious from the back of the bottles: all that goes into these is water, sugar, natural extracts and phosphoric acid. That’s pretty good in this day and age of HFCS and palm oil but does beg the question: what exactly does cucumber […]

I AM a colossal wimp when it comes to spicy food. Anything above the level of Coleman’s English mustard leaves me in agony. I can barely manage the little yellow peppers you get at Subway. But after seeing non-stop ads for the BK Stuffed Steakhouse, I knew it would make an easy update I would have to give it a go.

The big difference with the Stuffed Steakhouse is that the jalopeños and cheese are inside the burger, not merely slathered on top, a breakthrough in technology that surely means a cure for cancer and/or the Kardashians must just be around the […]

WHEN my friend and colleague Raul put a pic of these up on his Facebook page I knew I had to try it. Mexican cola? Made with real cane sugar, not that HFCS crap? And it’s Hecho en México? I’m there. Raul not only picked some up for me but also gave me the bottles for free as a birthday present. Result!

The first thing you notice when opening a bottle is the smell, and the first thing you think if you’re British is, “Hey, this smells like Panda Cola”. Ev thinks it smells like RC Cola, a brand I’ve heard lots about […]

I’VE SEEN this stuff around for a while, but it wasn’t until a friend told me how revolting it was that I decided to give it a shot. He’d drunk it while dehydrated in Newcastle* (a long story) and found it didn’t do him much good. I, on the other hand, am drinking it in the palatial surroundings of my office and only care if it tastes disgusting** and/or makes me hyperactive.

The back of the can proclaims: “Red Bull© Cola — a stimulating refreshment with ingredients from 100% natural sources”. Which, when you think about it, doesn’t mean much; its ingredients could be […]

WHEN Mike offered to buy me fish and chips from Billy’s this afternoon I leapt at the chance. Mike’s had them before and assured me they were every bit as good as Billy’s burgers. So can a Jewish New York deli based in Southern California do fish ‘n chips as well as, say, the Seven Seas in Ross or the Georgetown Fish Bar in Merthyr? Only one way to find out…

I’ll give Billy’s one thing — for $8.25 you get a good sized portion of battered fish and plenty of proper chips, not those nasty stringy French fry things. And as you’re buying […]

BACON. Not only is it one of the staples of life (along with coffee, Billy’s Western burgers and beans on toast), it’s also fast becoming the weapon of choice in the ongoing war between corporations whose survival depends on making us corpulent. Bacon has infiltrated every aspect of food recently, so it comes as no surprise that Jones Soda has made a bacon-flavoured drink. I knew I had to get my hands on some and as Target and Ralphs turned out to be useless I had to mail-order it.

Here’s what you get for $9.99 plus postage — two bottles of bacon soda, a […]

AS A rule I generally avoid McDonalds on the grounds that its food is shit and is best used to keep annoying kids happy and/or as fertilizer. Then again, the McRib is only put on the menu at certain times as a publicity stunt treat for its customers so I thought I’d swallow my pride (along with a ton of salt, HFCS and fat) and give one a go.

Here it is with the bun* removed. The boneless all-pork patty, which is stamped to make it look like it contains ribs, is slathered in sauce, onions and pickles. I’ll give it one […]

SERIOUSLY. And for breakfast. According to a BBC website you can cook ox heart by frying it over a high heat. As we’re out of bacon and black pudding I decided this would make a good alternative. You get a load for your money — about a pound for the equivalent of $1.70.

Here it is after being dumped in the pan…

…and here it is after a few minutes’ frying. It browns pretty quickly (which is good not only because I was starving, but also because I had to leg it down the M4 to meet Blunty) and has a very beefy aroma.

Note how […]