Hi. Welcome to Planet Mut. Established in 2004, it’s the perfect outlet for my more sociopathic tendencies. Email me at planetmut@gmail.com. If you want to read the five years’ worth of archives on the old HTML site, they’re here. |
IT’S 1994. I’ve nipped out to see my mate Flynn and find him watching some new TV show about two FBI agents who investigate weird cases. The programme’s just started. I sit down and watch… and watch… and watch… The following week I watch the second episode at home and by its end I’m hooked through the nuts.
The X-Files was an overnight sensation. Every magazine and newspaper had features and articles about the show, the stars and the stories. It was as if the programme had tapped into some well of desire for the unknown, although people were quick to […]
SO THE WALKING DEAD has come to an end, and first off let us be grateful that they’re finally off that sodding farm. Maybe now we can begin to move forward after 13 weeks of talking punctuated by the occasional zombie attack. Although the final episode was pretty good, there were several things that just leaped out at me as being either stupid or nonsensical, but as this is The Walking Dead, “stupid and nonsensical” can just about sum up everything the bloody characters have done for the past 13 weeks. Some thoughts:
Where did that helicopter at the beginning of the episode […]
FOR the past seven weeks I’ve been watching a TV show called The River. Like many, I was interested in its premise: Dr. Emmet Cole, host of the nature show Undiscovered Country, goes missing in the Amazon. Six months later (this figure will become very important) the company that broadcasts his show offers to pay for a rescue mission, but with one condition — everything has to be filmed so the channel can show the results. The rescuers are Cole’s wife Tess; her son Lincoln; Cole’s friend and Undiscovered Country producer Clark Quietly; Magus mechanic Emilio Valenzuela and his daughter Jahel; […]
TELLY viewers are doubtless quivering with anticipation at the news that The CW (which I always thought was the country & western station, hence my aversion to it) is launching a new game show called Oh Sit! You can imagine The CW’s executives all high-fiving each other while yelling, “GET IT? IT SOUNDS LIKE “OH SHIT!” AREN’T WE EDGY!!!” Awful pun aside, the programme will be based on musical chairs. Oh, I’m sorry — extreme musical chairs.
Extreme. Musical. Effing. Chairs.
CAN YOU FEEL THE EXTREEEEEME???
According to a press release, the show will feature “20 thrill-seeking daredevils racing head to head through five physically demanding, obstacle […]
A BURGER sandwiched between two tacos? Count me in! Think about it: the crunch of the taco shell followed by the cold lettuce, warm meat, more taco shell, then the bread, lettuce, tomato, cheese, burger, bread and back to the taco shell. Amazing. When I saw the advert for this, I told Ev, “I’m buying one and don’t you try to stop me”.
Trouble is, it doesn’t exist. CURSE YOU, JACK IN THE BOX!! It’s just a ploy to flog us the Jumbo Deal, which has all the makings of a Jumbaco (a burger […]
AND I mean that. Craig, who as we all know is the best Bond ever, slammed the Kardashian whores in an interview with GQ magazine:
“Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. Millions! I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with, but now look at them. You see that and you think, ‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a fucking idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?’”
Holy shit, finally someone in the public eye has pointed out that the empress has no clothes. Or dignity, talent, usefulness or reason to exist. This […]
WHEN I was a young Mut I used to watch a lot of telly. Seventies and early 80s television was a lot different than it is now; for starters, we only had three channels until the aptly-named Channel 4 appeared in 1982, 27 years after the the third channel, ITV, came along.
For reasons best known to the dark recesses of my subconscious, what sticks out in my mind the most from those days — apart from Morph, Clangers, The Goodies and that episode of Grange Hill when Jeremy Irvine drowned in the pool — are the public safety films that would occasionally appear between children’s […]
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrIFfYib8pE
THE cry of “DONKEY! RUSTIC! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE!” will soon be heard in hotels across the land as Gordon Ramsay starts his fourth American reality TV show, Hotel Hell. El Gordo will be handing out advice and abuse in unequal measure as he and a team of “hotel experts” travel to troubled hostelries across the country and attempt to sort them out with a heady mixture of screaming, money and heavily-edited confrontations.
Ev and me have always liked Ramsay’s approach to sorting out problems, but then the American version of Kitchen Nightmares started and that all went to hell. […]
FED UP with hearing the same dumb celebs on telly every day? So was Matt Richardson, so instead of simply sitting in front of the box shouting “SHUT UP!” he decided to do something about it and invented the Enough Already. It’s a little homemade device that decodes the closed captioning information that’s broadcast alongside every show and automatically mutes your TV when a trigger phrase appears. Here he is explaining how to build one:
httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SzB5OQUcOU
I don’t know where I’d start if I had one of these things. The list of idiotic phrases to block is endless. But […]
HERE’S the best prank ever pulled by a respectable news organization. Wait, no it isn’t — it’s the best prank ever pulled by anyone.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMNO2Kcvz2k&feature=related
You can read more about it […]
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