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A BURGER sandwiched between two tacos? Count me in! Think about it: the crunch of the taco shell followed by the cold lettuce, warm meat, more taco shell, then the bread, lettuce, tomato, cheese, burger, bread and back to the taco shell. Amazing. When I saw the advert for this, I told Ev, “I’m buying one and don’t you try to stop me”.
Trouble is, it doesn’t exist. CURSE YOU, JACK IN THE BOX!! It’s just a ploy to flog us the Jumbo Deal, which has all the makings of a Jumbaco (a burger and […] AND I mean that. Craig, who as we all know is the best Bond ever, slammed the Kardashian whores in an interview with GQ magazine: “Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. Millions! I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with, but now look at them. You see that and you think, ‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a fucking idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?’” Holy shit, finally someone in the public eye has pointed out that the empress has no clothes. Or dignity, talent, usefulness or reason to exist. This […] WHEN I was a young Mut I used to watch a lot of telly. Seventies and early 80s television was a lot different than it is now; for starters, we only had three channels until the aptly-named Channel 4 appeared in 1982, 27 years after the the third channel, ITV, came along. For reasons best known to the dark recesses of my subconscious, what sticks out in my mind the most from those days — apart from Morph, Clangers, The Goodies and that episode of Grange Hill when Jeremy Irvine drowned in the pool — are the public safety films that would occasionally appear between children’s shows […] httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrIFfYib8pE THE cry of “DONKEY! RUSTIC! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE!” will soon be heard in hotels across the land as Gordon Ramsay starts his fourth American reality TV show, Hotel Hell. El Gordo will be handing out advice and abuse in unequal measure as he and a team of “hotel experts” travel to troubled hostelries across the country and attempt to sort them out with a heady mixture of screaming, money and heavily-edited confrontations. Ev and me have always liked Ramsay’s approach to sorting out problems, but then the American version of Kitchen Nightmares started and that all went to hell. […] FED UP with hearing the same dumb celebs on telly every day? So was Matt Richardson, so instead of simply sitting in front of the box shouting “SHUT UP!” he decided to do something about it and invented the Enough Already. It’s a little homemade device that decodes the closed captioning information that’s broadcast alongside every show and automatically mutes your TV when a trigger phrase appears. Here he is explaining how to build one: httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SzB5OQUcOU I don’t know where I’d start if I had one of these things. The list of idiotic phrases to block is endless. But the […] HERE’S the best prank ever pulled by a respectable news organization. Wait, no it isn’t — it’s the best prank ever pulled by anyone. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMNO2Kcvz2k&feature=related You can read more about it […] BACK when I became aware that BBC America existed, I knew we had to get it added to our Charter cable lineup. An extra $30 a month seemed a small price to pay so I could have a channel that would be actually worth watching. At least that’s what I thought at the time… It didn’t take me long to realise that BBC America isn’t really the BBC. It’s also not worth the $30 extra and it’s very probably going to be dumped when we move and get Verizon’s FIOS service. I barely watch it; the only time I tune in is when […] DEAR LIZ: I’m not sure how to go about this. I mean you are, after all, the monarch of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and I am but a lowly subject, albeit one who’s 6,000 miles away from your benevolent gaze. But I was reading the news earlier today and was so deeply affected by one story that I have to write to Your Highness and ask a very important question. How do I go about nominating Charlie Sheen for an honorary knighthood? Now bear with me, as I realise honorary knighthoods aren’t dealt out willy-nilly to any old Johnny […] SO ZACHARY CHESSER — the douchebag from Virginia who threatened South Park creators after their episode portraying Mohammed in a bear suit — has been sentenced to 25 years in jail. Let’s see — we have a white American who converted to Islam, threatened the makers of a wildly popular cartoon, planned to fly abroad to join a militant Islamic group, communicated threats, solicited others to carry out acts of violence and provided “material support” to jihadists in Somalia. If he doesn’t have a six-foot-wide arsehole by 2014 then there is no justice in […] SO THE History Channel has pulled a miniseries on The Kennedys because it’s “not a fit for the History brand”. Apparently the “dramatic interpretation” of the former presidents’ life isn’t a suitable subject for a channel devoted to history, as long as that history involves either the Nazis or some form of pseudohistoric shite about 2012 or ancient aliens. The History Channel used to be one of my favourite stations. Amidst 500 channels of pure crap there was always something on that was worth watching, even if it was yet another recreation of the Battle of Stalingrad or a five-part series on […] |
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