Hi. Welcome to Planet Mut. Established in 2004, it’s the perfect outlet for my more sociopathic tendencies. Email me at planetmut@gmail.com.
If you want to read the five years’ worth of archives on the old HTML site, they’re here.
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IMAGINE the scene. Gucci has come up with a new overpriced bottle of smelly stuff perfume. It’s intense, guilty, and many other meaningless words dreamed up by the marketing department. Gucci wants a logo that’ll sum up the mysterious, dangerous world you’ll enter once you spray this on yourself, ignoring the reality that if you’re the kind of person stupid enough to spend $75 on a bottle of this the only place you’re going is some douchebag ultralounge. Anyway, I’d love to have been in the room when this design was conceived. Why?
BECAUSE IT’S THE BATMAN LOGO WITH A HARD-ON. It […]
SO THIS woman:
1. Makes a habit of dating small green lizards of the genus Phelsuma.
2. Is a bit of a bunny-boiler.
3. Doesn’t appreciate being stood up and possibly missing a night of hot reptile lovin’.
Either way, it’s disturbing.
Why can’t Geico go back to doing ads like this?
[…]
TAKE this World War II hand grenade, for example. (The police did). I mean, there you are calmly sorting through another box of Ev’s nan’s stuff when all of a sudden you’re holding a piece of live ordnance in your hand and wondering if you’re going to make it to that dinner reservation.
Our foraging was put on hold while the police were called, and then the lone Orange County Sheriff who came out had to call a colleague to deal with the grenade. What would he do? Shoot it? Send in the bomb-disposal robot? Evacuate the area? No. He walked over, […]
NO MUTS were hurt in the making of this video. The device Ev is using to electrocute me is a violet wand, an electrical thingamajig designed to help cure skin conditions and relieve minor pain. They were banned in the 1950s after one company made outlandish claims about their abilities and the FDA got involved.
Here’s the full kit. The wand comes with five attachments of different shapes and sizes, some of which look fairly bizzare and some which don’t work.
I think this one’s for use on the scalp. Bigger kits used by doctors even had attachments for internal use. Ych […]
“OK… so it’s across, down… er… down, across… er… diagonal line? Ah, […]
THERE’S a good explanation, honest. While doing some clearing up at Ev’s nan’s place we found this German Second World War helmet. As far as I can tell from doing a bit of research on t’Internet, it’s a Waffen-SS M1940 model with a 56cm liner and is in pretty good condition. There’s no factory mark but it is what’s called a Double Decal model — it has the SS runes on one side and the Nazi emblem on the other — which makes it pretty rare. In the meantime it’s going to be worn by Penelope, although I’ve dared Ev to wear […]
Enough said.
No, wait, there’s more. Do my general thoughts of “WTF is a ‘Justin Beiber’ and how soon can he/she/it go away?” correspond with, say, what my grandparents thought about Elvis Presley or The Beatles? Or what my parents thought about the Sex Pistols? Or what my older cousins thought about Nirvana?
Could it really be me? Am I reaching that point where what I think is good/cool/superior to what you like is no longer regarded as good/cool/superior to what you like? For that matter, was anything I ever liked good/cool/superior to what you like? (Answer: Yes)
Look, I’ve enjoyed some utter crap in my […]
WE WERE in Sears today buying shirts for me and pressies for Sian when I spotted these in the kids’ section. Yes, your eyes do not deceive you — they really are padded bras for 12-year-olds.
Congratulations, American media: the ho-ification of girls continues apace. This are the sort of thing I’d expect to see in the Long Beach Wal-Mart, not Sears. Still, if there’s money in it I don’t expect morals to get in the way.
And yes, I know Britain’s had the same thing. At least there they were […]
THIS, my children, is the new KFC DoubleDown. In case you can’t tell from the video, it’s a bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken.
Has that sunk in yet? To the horror of us living in civilization, the Double Down was initially only released in Nebraska and Rhode Island. Why California didn’t get it is a mystery but all that’s been forgiven as this masterpiece of meat is available on April 12.
Now, I’ve just been scolded by my doctor for putting on weight since my last visit. I’ve put on 10 pounds, for those interested. (No, I’m […]
…but after reading this I think I’ll head back to my small, green, sane island. […]
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