IMAGINE the scene. Gucci has come up with a new over­priced bottle of smelly stuff per­fume. It’s intense, guilty, and many other mean­ing­less words dreamed up by the mar­ket­ing depart­ment. Gucci wants a logo that’ll sum up the mys­ter­i­ous, dan­ger­ous world you’ll enter once you spray this on your­self, ignor­ing the real­ity that if you’re the kind of per­son stu­pid enough to spend $75 on a bottle of this the only place you’re going is some douchebag ultralounge. Any­way, I’d love to have been in the room when this design was con­ceived. Why?

BECAUSE IT’S THE BATMAN LOGO WITH A HARD-ON. It […]

TAKE this World War II hand gren­ade, for example. (The police did). I mean, there you are calmly sort­ing through another box of Ev’s nan’s stuff when all of a sud­den you’re hold­ing a piece of live ord­nance in your hand and won­der­ing if you’re going to make it to that din­ner reser­va­tion.

Our for­aging was put on hold while the police were called, and then the lone Orange County Sher­iff who came out had to call a col­league to deal with the gren­ade. What would he do? Shoot it? Send in the bomb-disposal robot? Evac­u­ate the area? No. He walked over, […]